Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Whatever it is, we are obviously drinking it

Scene: Any Olive Garden. Dinner table on a Monday night. Never-ending pasta bowl promotion.
Characters: Innocent boyfriend, girlfriend with waning patience.

Me: How about we get some wine?
You: Sure, I like the plum wine we got at the hibachi restaurant!
Me: They don't have that here.
You: Oh, well, um, let me see.
(reads menu)
You: How about this CHar-dooh-nee?
Me: What?
You: (reading menu) CHar-dooh-nee?
Me: (pausing, quizzical look) ... Hahahaha!
(now laughing at you, but with a loving look)
Me: Chardonnay?
You: I love you.
Me: Let's get what we got last time. You liked it and it's easier to pronounce. Moscato.
You: I'll take a glass of mosquito.
(Waitress arrives)
Her: Hi, my name is ______, welcome to Olive Garden, would you like to try one of our house wines?
Me: Why don't we try something different?
Her: You can get a sample, 25 cents, to see if you like it.
You: What's a blush wine?
Her: It's um, not red, and not white.
Me: It's in the middle, a little bit of both.
You: And the white Zeen-fandull?
Me: Different than the CHar-dooh-nee.
Her: It's..a...white wine.
You: Kee....kee-AN-tee?
Her: Hey, I've heard much worse.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

What's his name?

Ah, it goes like this:

Coworker 1: "Did you see 'Dancing' like night?"
Coworker 2: "Yeah! Bristol! Haha Holy Shit!"
Coworker 3: "She had bricks in her shoes!"
Coworker 2: "How about that other guy? What's his name?"
Coworker 1: "Oh yeah! The Scenario!"
Coworkers 2, 3 & 4: "The Scenario?"
Me: "Hahaha You mean The Situation?"
Everyone laughs.
And continues to talk about Dancing With the Stars for the next 30 minutes, so on go my headphones.
I don't really watch TV at all, let alone that show. But at least I got this priceless moment from it.
While I'm looking forward to the end of the current installment of this series, on the other hand I am not, only because my Nana loves this show so much. She will call when it is on and give a recap of what just happened and her opinions of it.
I'm sure my Nana is not a fan of What's His Name.