Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Whatever it is, we are obviously drinking it

Scene: Any Olive Garden. Dinner table on a Monday night. Never-ending pasta bowl promotion.
Characters: Innocent boyfriend, girlfriend with waning patience.

Me: How about we get some wine?
You: Sure, I like the plum wine we got at the hibachi restaurant!
Me: They don't have that here.
You: Oh, well, um, let me see.
(reads menu)
You: How about this CHar-dooh-nee?
Me: What?
You: (reading menu) CHar-dooh-nee?
Me: (pausing, quizzical look) ... Hahahaha!
(now laughing at you, but with a loving look)
Me: Chardonnay?
You: I love you.
Me: Let's get what we got last time. You liked it and it's easier to pronounce. Moscato.
You: I'll take a glass of mosquito.
(Waitress arrives)
Her: Hi, my name is ______, welcome to Olive Garden, would you like to try one of our house wines?
Me: Why don't we try something different?
Her: You can get a sample, 25 cents, to see if you like it.
You: What's a blush wine?
Her: It's um, not red, and not white.
Me: It's in the middle, a little bit of both.
You: And the white Zeen-fandull?
Me: Different than the CHar-dooh-nee.
Her: It's..a...white wine.
You: Kee....kee-AN-tee?
Her: Hey, I've heard much worse.

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